1
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:05,838
Well,
I still don't get it.

2
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,172
It's not a big deal.

3
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:10,642
It's not a big deal
to change your name?

4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,344
Well,
I just thought, like,

5
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,413
now we're becoming
official detectives,

6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,383
I would want a cooler,
more American-sounding name.

7
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:20,652
So you went
with Floyd Calhoun.

8
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,322
You could have picked
something more powerful,

9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,425
like Brock Stockton
or Jack Smackbird

10
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,962
-or Huge Jackman or Paul--
-Well--

11
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,563
well, okay,
that last one

12
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,967
is already the name
of Hugh Jackman.

13
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:38,203
And a-anyway,
it's too late.

14
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,872
-Okay? See?
-Yeah, I don't wanna see it.

15
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,875
-So, let's let it go, please.
-Okay.

16
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,246
Well, I'm never gonna
call you Floyd.

17
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,247
Understood.

18
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:24,716
"Take what's mine,
and you die."

19
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,252
So, this note,

20
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,554
you think it's a fellow comedian

21
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,588
that's threatening you.

22
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,422
Well, it all started

23
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,690
when I got the headlining spot

24
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:32,891
in the showcase next week.

25
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,326
Some major execs are coming,

26
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,828
and people are really gunning
for their big break.

27
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,830
So what exactly
are you taking?

28
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:42,234
Well, the spotlight, of course.
No, I used to be a DJ.

29
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,969
So I know how the entertainment
business works.

30
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,871
Well, yeah, that's what
I was thinking, too.

31
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,140
I did a video that got
over a million hits

32
00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:50,442
and now people are coming
to the Hilaritorium to see me.

33
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,511
So, I assume you work
with celebrities.

34
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,513
Yeah,
we work with celebrities.

35
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:58,083
I'm not a celebrity.
Nobody knows who Ally Green is.

36
00:01:58,119 --> 00:01:59,518
I'm just internet famous.

37
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,520
Like, more famous than
an extreme sports fail

38
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,021
but less than a cat
playing piano.

39
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:06,191
Okay, Ms. Green,
we'll look into your case.

40
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,894
Cool, thanks, but if you could
just keep a real low profile.

41
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,696
I don't want people thinking
I'm causing a problem.

42
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:14,199
Oh, don't worry about it.
We'll be very discreet.

43
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,367
Very discreet.

44
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,839
Hey, you.

45
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,575
-Hi.
-You busy?

46
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,844
Are you genetically modified

47
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,012
to be the perfect boyfriend?

48
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:30,082
Ah, actually, you know,
I'm a robot,

49
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:33,619
and we happen to find that
slightly offensive.

50
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:37,656
Aw. You didn't
have to do this.

51
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,757
Oh, I was just
in the neighborhood.

52
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:39,825
I thought I'd stop by

53
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,560
and say hi to my favorite lady.

54
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,930
-So, I was thinking...
-Lovely.

55
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:48,267
have you heard of this new fancy
restaurant called Oliver's?

56
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,801
Mm, I have.

57
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,004
And from what I hear,
it is very fancy indeed.

58
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:55,407
How would you like dining
at said fancy restaurant

59
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,277
on, say, Friday?

60
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,579
I think I would like that
very much.

61
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,550
Bleep-blop.
Bleep-bleep-bloop-bleep-bleep.

62
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,752
-Huh? I'm sorry.
-I was just calling back

63
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,121
to being
the perfect robot boyfriend.

64
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,557
I'm sorry.
I'll get out of your hair.

65
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:12,558
Have a good one.

66
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,164
I-- I admire them.

67
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,000
-Who?
-Comedians.

68
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:24,570
I mean, to get up
in front of that crowd,

69
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,839
talk about stuff that matters
to you and try to be funny?

70
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:28,974
It takes guts.

71
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,175
Guts to go up on stage

72
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,877
and complain about your day?

73
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,213
And we're supposed
to pay for it? No.

74
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,782
No, there's a lot more to it
than just that.

75
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:40,452
Really, it's an art form.
Like sculpting marble.

76
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,554
Maybe not sculpting marble
because that's really difficult,

77
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,257
but it's more like--
it's like shaping shrubs.

78
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,361
But those fancy shrubs
that look like things

79
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,863
like dinosaurs
and flamingos.

80
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:55,400
Real entertainment
is going to a shooting range

81
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,569
with a six-pack
and a loaded gun.

82
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:09,248
I-- I don't get it!
How do airplanes fly?

83
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,817
- They're so heavy.

84
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,452
Cars aren't heavy.
Why don't they fly?

85
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:17,823
Huh? I suspect strings
are involved. I do. I do.

86
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,992
--This guy gets it. Yeah!

87
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,660
Get them with you.
Get them with--

88
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:24,429
Whatever you're on,
pass it around, on the house.

89
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,966
--One time I thought
I was dead, yeah.

90
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,635
I looked in a--
in a mirror.

91
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,938
I was like, "Holy crap.
I can't see my reflection."

92
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,508
Turns out,
it was just a window.

93
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,143
He sold it better last week.

94
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,811
-That joke always sucked.
-Thanks guys, thanks.

95
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,246
Totally.
This crowd's just easy.

96
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:44,283
- All right. Thank you.

97
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,421
-Hey! Nice work, Ron.
-You think?

98
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,291
-Yeah!
-The-- the mirror bit finally landed, right, babe?

99
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,825
Oh, man,
you're so funny.

100
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:56,461
That bit about the airplanes?
I always thought that.

101
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,264
How do they fly?
I mean, they're so heavy.

102
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,999
-Yeah.
-Cars can't fly.

103
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:03,735
-They're lighter, so.
-Thanks, man. Thank you.

104
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,438
-So you guys all regulars?
-Uh, we are,

105
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,307
But Ally won't be
for much longer.

106
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,275
Oh, stop it.
No, I'm not going anywhere.

107
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:13,912
Uh, no, he's not wrong.
You're our resident celebrity.

108
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,482
I've been here ten years,
but you make one YouTube clip,

109
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,951
and it goes viral,
and you're suddenly a star.

110
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,120
I'm not a star.

111
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,956
Put 'em together
for the star of our show,

112
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,326
Ally Green!

113
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,395
I'm gonna get a drink.

114
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,635
Hey, everybody.
Thank you so much.

115
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,737
-Let's hear it for Ron!
-Hi.

116
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,873
Yeah, no, and I do
appreciate your applause,

117
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,342
but I don't think
you would be applauding

118
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:47,179
if you knew that I just
crop-dusted all of you just now.

119
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,548
But by now you probably know
that, actually, so.

120
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,883
She's not that funny.

121
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,618
Who the hell are you?

122
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,787
Me? Eh, nobody.

123
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,289
-Comedian.
-What?

124
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,491
- Yeah. We both are.

125
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,460
Actually very famous
back in Sweden.

126
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,862
Surprised
you haven't heard of us.

127
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,731
I'm-- I'm Floyd.
This is Ingmar.

128
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,233
Oh, that's wonderful,
but if you guys think

129
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,302
you're getting time
on that stage, you're crazy.

130
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:13,004
What he's trying to say
is, "Welcome."

131
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,607
There's an open mic tomorrow.
You guys should go up there.

132
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,509
Probably get more laughs
than him, so.

133
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,312
--Excuse us for a moment.

134
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:23,181
Do they have
Instagram filters in Heaven?

135
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,683
Because I don't think
they do.

136
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,351
Like, I think
it's just "hashtag dead."

137
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,088
What's the matter with you?
Are you crazy?

138
00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:31,123
What?

139
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,392
You just told them
we were comedians!

140
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,527
Well, I had to say something.
You were dying in there.

141
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,096
I'm not gonna go up there
and tell a bunch of jokes

142
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,631
like some stupid clown!

143
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,133
Well, calm down.

144
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:43,502
-I'll do it.
-Yeah?

145
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,636
And that's gonna help us

146
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,638
to figure out who did it? Huh?

147
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,306
Who did what?

148
00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:51,343
I-- he was just trying out
a new routine.

149
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,044
-Like--
-Yeah. Who-- who--

150
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,546
Who stole the cookies
from the cookie jar?

151
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,815
I mean, seriously,
who did it?

152
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,885
Just tell us
so we can stop guessing.

153
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,554
I don't know what your angle is,
"famous comedians from Sweden"

154
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,091
but I'll be really interested
to see you perform tomorrow,

155
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:09,728
see if you Swedes
are as funny as you look.

156
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,635
Spoiler alert!
We're even funnier than we look!

157
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,440
Do you think that's our guy?

158
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,841
Absa-fruitly.

159
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,544
Bonsai!

160
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:30,215
You need love, too,
like people, oh, yes.

161
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,783
- I don't--

162
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,220
Yeah? Who is this?

163
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:39,524
Now, is that any way to talk
to an old friend, Sunny Bunny?

164
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,359
If friends is all we were?

165
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,727
What do you want?

166
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,464
It turns out I may have made
a little oopsie

167
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,699
with regard to your pal
Floyd's paperwork.

168
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,001
-What do you mean?
<i> -Well, it turns out,</i>

169
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,137
he may have to go back
to Switzerland

170
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,972
sooner than any one of us
expected.

171
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,274
What are you talking about?
I trust you!

172
00:07:56,310 --> 00:08:00,479
Now, cool down
that sexy fire, lovey.

173
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,080
You and I are gonna have
a little sit-down

174
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,949
<i> and hash this out.</i>

175
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,650
-What's your game, Lou?
<i> -No game.</i>

176
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:09,387
Just... come alone.

177
00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:20,882
Yes, so, uh, yeah,
I'm gonna do standup comedy.

178
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:22,150
Yeah.

179
00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:24,252
But, um...

180
00:08:24,288 --> 00:08:25,487
you're not funny.

181
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,624
What do you mean?
I'm-- I'm funny.

182
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:32,694
He only needs to be funny enough
to keep up our cover.

183
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,863
The showcase is tomorrow,
and I'm sure this Mark

184
00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:36,364
will try something tonight.

185
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,567
Hey, have you ever been
at the grocery store?

186
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,268
Oh, God,
what are you talking about?

187
00:08:40,304 --> 00:08:41,937
This is what I'm gonna do
onstage.

188
00:08:41,972 --> 00:08:44,306
So, you're at
the grocery store, you know,

189
00:08:44,341 --> 00:08:46,908
and, uh, when you're ready
to check out,

190
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,877
you know,
when you pick a line,

191
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:51,980
it suddenly becomes
the slowest line there.

192
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:54,549
It's, like... what is that?

193
00:08:54,585 --> 00:08:56,218
- What is that?
-What's up, people?

194
00:08:56,253 --> 00:08:58,954
It's so funny, Floyd.

195
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:01,256
Respectfully disagree.

196
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,091
And why do you
keep calling him Floyd?

197
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,760
Oh, uh, didn't I tell you?
I changed my name.

198
00:09:07,531 --> 00:09:09,097
To Floyd Calhoun.

199
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,433
He wanted, like,
a cool American name.

200
00:09:12,603 --> 00:09:14,970
And you went
with Floyd Calhoun?

201
00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:19,407
Oh, it's what he wants.
We should just respect it.

202
00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:22,010
So you actually want us
to call you Floyd Calhoun?

203
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,980
Yes.

204
00:09:25,015 --> 00:09:26,481
-For real?
-Yes.

205
00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:32,821
You<i> are</i> funny, dude.
Cheers.

206
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:37,993
This whole thing with Floyd,

207
00:09:38,028 --> 00:09:41,997
it's really just
a little oopsie.

208
00:09:42,032 --> 00:09:45,567
I'm sure the--

209
00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:48,403
What are you doing?
That is $13 Prosecco!

210
00:09:49,539 --> 00:09:51,106
You don't make "oopsies,"
Lou.

211
00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:53,608
Fine!

212
00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:54,809
You see right through me.

213
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,278
I just don't get what

214
00:09:56,313 --> 00:09:57,846
you see in that man.

215
00:09:57,881 --> 00:09:58,847
What man?

216
00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,151
-Floyd?
-Yes, Floyd!

217
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:07,289
I mean, I know he's beautiful,
like some small mountain,

218
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,860
Tender, like an heirloom tomato
in early August,

219
00:10:11,895 --> 00:10:16,031
and sweet, like a breeze
through schnozberry bushes.

220
00:10:16,066 --> 00:10:17,766
But you've always been
my girl!

221
00:10:20,304 --> 00:10:21,269
Marry me.

222
00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,072
Have my children.

223
00:10:24,107 --> 00:10:27,008
-God, you're sexy!
-I can do this all day.

224
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,277
Me too.

225
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,484
All right,
party people.

226
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,220
We have somebody very special
coming up next,

227
00:10:39,256 --> 00:10:41,156
Floyd from Sweden.

228
00:10:41,191 --> 00:10:45,293
- I'll keep my eyes on Mark.

229
00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:52,534
Whoo!
So I am a comedian.

230
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,803
-From Sweden.
-Sweden sucks!

231
00:10:54,838 --> 00:10:57,505
--Oh. Unnecessary.

232
00:10:59,209 --> 00:11:00,375
Oh! Lost my...

233
00:11:01,812 --> 00:11:03,244
trail of, uh, thought there.

234
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,714
But, uh, com-- jokes!
Comedy.

235
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:09,651
For, uh--
grocery stores are funny.

236
00:11:09,686 --> 00:11:11,619
You know why?
Becau-- because of the lines.

237
00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:14,789
There's always--
always one line--

238
00:11:14,825 --> 00:11:17,292
No, wait, no wait.
There's a coup-- no, wait.

239
00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:20,028
Oh, sorry. Messed it up.

240
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,930
-Uh...
-This is not good.

241
00:11:21,965 --> 00:11:25,500
Ooh, brain, uh--
hello, brain.

242
00:11:25,535 --> 00:11:28,336
Where are you?
Uh, calling my brain.

243
00:11:28,372 --> 00:11:31,673
Eh, y-you know--
you know when you see movies

244
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:34,309
in the future,
they always have flying cars.

245
00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:38,179
Why is that?
Don't they like wheels in the future?

246
00:11:38,215 --> 00:11:40,148
Yeah, you gotta have wheels.

247
00:11:40,183 --> 00:11:43,585
I think wheels are-- are good.
I-I think it's funny.

248
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:47,489
Anyone else think it's funny?
Undecided.

249
00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:50,458
How-- we--

250
00:11:50,494 --> 00:11:51,993
and why is there
an "at" symbol?

251
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:53,461
It's for email, dummy!

252
00:11:53,497 --> 00:11:54,829
--I know it's for email.

253
00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:57,098
Okay, let me explain
why this is funny.

254
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,367
Uh, it's just two letters.

255
00:11:59,403 --> 00:12:00,969
We don't need to abbreviate

256
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:02,270
them, so that's why.

257
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,072
I-I think it's funny.
Anyone?

258
00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:06,508
You, too, huh?

259
00:12:07,077 --> 00:12:08,276
Me too what?

260
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,278
Couldn't stand
to watch that anymore?

261
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,313
Man, that guy
was really not funny.

262
00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:16,851
Hard to watch.
Kinda made me sad.

263
00:12:16,887 --> 00:12:17,852
Look out!

264
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:19,921
Ah!

265
00:12:22,893 --> 00:12:25,160
--Mark! Are you okay?!

266
00:12:25,195 --> 00:12:28,596
No, my leg!
Aah! He finally did it!

267
00:12:28,632 --> 00:12:30,365
What do you mean?!
What do you mean?!

268
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,399
My leg!

269
00:12:32,469 --> 00:12:33,601
When did you find this?

270
00:12:33,637 --> 00:12:34,669
Last week.

271
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,705
Obviously,
I didn't take it seriously.

272
00:12:37,741 --> 00:12:39,674
Maybe you should have.

273
00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:41,709
I should've known
you guys weren't comedians.

274
00:12:41,745 --> 00:12:44,212
I mean, that was the worst
standup routine

275
00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:46,448
I have ever seen
in my entire life.

276
00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:48,416
Seriously. Ever.

277
00:12:48,452 --> 00:12:49,851
You know, that's hurtful.

278
00:12:49,886 --> 00:12:51,886
And now I regret
buying you this balloon.

279
00:12:51,922 --> 00:12:53,688
Quit your crying.
You saved my life, okay?

280
00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:55,857
-Yeah, we did.
-Yeah, I still can't believe

281
00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:58,359
someone would try to kill me
over some stolen jokes.

282
00:12:58,395 --> 00:13:01,229
-So you steal jokes.
-No, of course not.

283
00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:02,764
But when you work
at a comedy club,

284
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:04,466
you're always refining
your material,

285
00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:07,368
and you hear lots of other
people's work and, you know,

286
00:13:07,404 --> 00:13:08,870
sometimes something slips in.

287
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:11,773
I mean, everybody does it.
Even Ally.

288
00:13:11,808 --> 00:13:12,774
Ally?

289
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,714
Yeah? What do you want?

290
00:13:19,749 --> 00:13:21,182
I need to apologize.

291
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,153
Oh, f*ck you! Again?!

292
00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:28,223
I'm sorry, I was just
so wild with jealousy.

293
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:30,258
You're supposed to be
my number one, Sunny Bunny,

294
00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:33,595
and here comes this beautiful
Swedish man-boy and...

295
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:38,299
I miss us.
We make a dynamite team.

296
00:13:38,335 --> 00:13:40,635
We did, Lou.

297
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:43,104
But you a crazy
son of a bitchy,

298
00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:47,709
and I just a total normal gal
trying to live my life.

299
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,878
Okay, then.

300
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,912
I'll just go.

301
00:13:57,454 --> 00:14:00,321
You treat her right, Floyd!
You treat her right!

302
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,460
--Anyway...

303
00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:07,729
look, guys, this is crazy.

304
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,430
I'm not stealing
people's jokes.

305
00:14:09,466 --> 00:14:11,833
Not even by accident?
Try to think.

306
00:14:11,868 --> 00:14:13,735
-You might be next.
-Well, I don't know.

307
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,137
I mean, I guess there's a way
that some people's stuff

308
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:17,839
can seep into
your subconscious.

309
00:14:17,874 --> 00:14:19,874
Like Ron's bit about
how Spiderman's

310
00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:22,076
only real power is that
jizz comes out of his hands?

311
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,711
Or Mark's thing about
the snowflakes and how

312
00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:26,514
sometimes they do look alike
and people need to get over it?

313
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,449
But I made that stuff my own.

314
00:14:28,485 --> 00:14:30,318
That's fine by us,
but it does mean

315
00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:32,887
that any comedian there
might feel robbed.

316
00:14:32,923 --> 00:14:36,224
-So we have to draw them out.
-What do you mean?

317
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,726
Mark's in the hospital,

318
00:14:38,762 --> 00:14:40,562
so that means there's
an open slot tonight.

319
00:14:40,597 --> 00:14:42,664
So I'll get on stage,
and I'll steal jokes

320
00:14:42,699 --> 00:14:44,832
from everybody,
and that clown,

321
00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,501
he'll be so mad,
he'll come after me.

322
00:14:46,536 --> 00:14:48,369
That would be a great idea
if you weren't

323
00:14:48,405 --> 00:14:49,637
-such a sh*tty comedian.
-Hey--

324
00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:52,106
You bombed so hard last night,
there's no way

325
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,474
they're gonna let you
on that showcase.

326
00:14:58,281 --> 00:14:59,247
What?

327
00:15:01,184 --> 00:15:02,850
-Nope.
-It's for the case, Ingmar.

328
00:15:02,886 --> 00:15:04,786
-No.
-Why--

329
00:15:06,056 --> 00:15:08,590
Wait. Are you afraid?

330
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:11,192
I'm not afraid of anything.

331
00:15:11,227 --> 00:15:13,328
Public speaking is
the number-one fear in America.

332
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:15,263
Can you shut it?
Both of you?

333
00:15:15,298 --> 00:15:18,032
If you're not gonna do it,
then I'm gonna cancel the show.

334
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:20,268
I don't wanna be
the next person in the hospital.

335
00:15:21,905 --> 00:15:26,274
If, uh... you had, uh...

336
00:15:26,309 --> 00:15:27,809
If-- if the world...

337
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,778
My dad is doing
standup comedy?

338
00:15:31,781 --> 00:15:33,448
It's the only shot we have.

339
00:15:33,483 --> 00:15:36,184
If the world were
to go under today--

340
00:15:36,219 --> 00:15:38,052
I have to see that.
I have to come.

341
00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:39,687
-That's it. I'm coming.
-Oh, I wanna come.

342
00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:43,424
No. No! No, this is serious.
There's a killer on the loose.

343
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,560
Well, it's gonna help your cover
if you show up with friends

344
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:48,630
than being, like,
you know, a creepy loner guy.

345
00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:52,700
Oh, Brad.
Change of plans.

346
00:15:52,736 --> 00:15:55,470
My dad is doing a set
at the Hilaritorium.

347
00:15:55,505 --> 00:15:57,905
I know!
See you tonight.

348
00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:04,379
Oh, this is a bad idea.

349
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:07,548
He's so beautiful
in his own way, you know?

350
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:13,121
Imagine if men had periods.
God.

351
00:16:13,156 --> 00:16:15,657
If men were leaking out of
their tiny, little pecker holes

352
00:16:15,692 --> 00:16:18,226
once a month, we would
never hear the end of it!

353
00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:21,095
"Oh, babe!
Let me just watch the game.

354
00:16:21,131 --> 00:16:22,563
I'm on my f--kin' period."

355
00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:27,969
So, Axel, Sarah says
you're going by Floyd now.

356
00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:29,203
What's that about?

357
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:33,441
Yeah, well,
I just wanted a cool name.

358
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:36,077
I love that.
Reinvent yourself, bro.

359
00:16:36,112 --> 00:16:38,279
-Bring it here.
-Yeah, let's bring it here.

360
00:16:38,314 --> 00:16:42,950
- So watch the f--k out.

361
00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:44,018
Thanks, guys.

362
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,692
And now, a last-minute
addition to the bill.

363
00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:53,928
-I can't do this.
-The most in all of Sweden,

364
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:55,963
which is a thing, I guess.

365
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:58,633
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ingmar!

366
00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:04,205
You go get 'em, Dad!

367
00:17:12,816 --> 00:17:16,751
I'm sorry, but...

368
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,987
well, I just...
crop-dusted all of you

369
00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:22,390
- on my way up here.

370
00:17:22,425 --> 00:17:23,591
He stole your joke.

371
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,427
I don't even understand
that joke.

372
00:17:28,231 --> 00:17:33,000
This one time,
I thought I was dead.

373
00:17:34,571 --> 00:17:39,107
Yeah, I couldn't see
my reflection...

374
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,875
in the mirror.

375
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:44,979
Turns out,
it was just...

376
00:17:45,014 --> 00:17:46,514
- a window.

377
00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:48,483
Holy crap, your dad's funny.

378
00:17:48,518 --> 00:17:50,585
Well, not<i> that</i> funny.

379
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:54,355
Imagine
that guys got periods.

380
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:58,092
Yeah, that they were leaking out
from their little pecker hole

381
00:17:58,128 --> 00:18:00,428
once a month?

382
00:18:00,463 --> 00:18:02,997
We would not hear
the end of it, would we?

383
00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:07,235
No. "Oh, honey!
Can I just watch the game?

384
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:10,271
I'm on my f--king perio-o-d!"

385
00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:14,942
Why is it...

386
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:19,981
Jessica! Stop.

387
00:18:22,218 --> 00:18:23,785
It's you.

388
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:25,119
What the f--k
are you talking about?

389
00:18:25,155 --> 00:18:26,954
You're threatening
the other comics.

390
00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:30,391
What?
How could you say that?

391
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:31,759
I would never do that!

392
00:18:31,795 --> 00:18:33,294
Don't you think
it looks weird?

393
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,129
You left in the middle
of the set looking angry?

394
00:18:35,165 --> 00:18:37,064
Does this look angry?

395
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:40,101
No, I...
may have misread that.

396
00:18:40,136 --> 00:18:42,603
He just gets up there,
and he makes it look so easy!

397
00:18:42,639 --> 00:18:43,771
Who, Ingmar?

398
00:18:43,807 --> 00:18:46,541
He's such a natural,
and I'm just a hack!

399
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,677
If it isn't you,
who is it?

400
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,848
They're so heavy.

401
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,016
That's all, folks.

402
00:18:58,188 --> 00:19:01,889
I don't f--king know!
God...

403
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,194
Thank you, everybody!
Thank you!

404
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,199
Oy, geez!

405
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,934
Never again.

406
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,510
Ingmar!

407
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:34,288
Ron?
Seriously, not cool!

408
00:19:34,324 --> 00:19:36,824
I've worked on my act
for years!

409
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:39,994
I've constructed complex,
intricate jokes!

410
00:19:40,029 --> 00:19:43,798
And you rip 'em off?!

411
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:45,566
This is pathetic.

412
00:19:53,576 --> 00:19:55,443
Sorry your boyfriend
tried to kill you.

413
00:19:55,478 --> 00:19:57,545
Yeah, that part sucks.

414
00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:00,114
But I guess I'll get
a good story out of it.

415
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,015
Yeah.

416
00:20:02,852 --> 00:20:05,987
By the way,
I just crop-dusted you.

417
00:20:07,924 --> 00:20:09,557
I still don't get that joke.

418
00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:10,992
No idea what that means.

419
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,196
Listen, um...

420
00:20:15,231 --> 00:20:17,832
you saved my life....

421
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:19,767
once again.

422
00:20:22,171 --> 00:20:23,804
This one's to Floyd.

423
00:20:23,854 --> 00:20:28,404
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